So yes I know I'm still like 2 weeks behind with this but I'm doing my best to keep the beer to post ratio at a good level! =D
Right so, 4 hours! after staggering out of the metro station still pissed the train to budapest rolls in and I promptly find (what I thought was my seat) and crash out, got woken up by the lasses who's seats I was sprawled across. They were nice (and cute!) so I didn't mind having to move too much, 3 seconds after finding another chair it was ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ time again.
Every so often I'd wake up, have a chat with the 2 lasses and doye off again so it was a pretty nice train ride......but then the restaurant car destroyed all that,
I sat down havign a ponder at the menu and the waiter was basically sat on me waiting for my order.
So I order something and he starts shouting at me in German about it being breakfast only - that's wahat I fucking wanted you uber-efficient prick, some breakfast but oh no he can't do that can he cus that would be helpful. I went back to bed/to my seat still hungry the arsehole. I'd only asked for a bloody omlette and he'd had a bloody tantrum.
Budapest
Found the hostel (if you can call it that) eventually after lugging my kit down a bloody great big and then up the other side of it only to find that it was actually only 10 metres away from where I'd started! Too hot and hungover to care though.
The hostel was a fucking joke, basically they rent out the student halls but these halls were shite! 1 key for the dorm (which didn't actaully lock) and I'd have got a better shower if I'd paid someone to piss it a callander over my head....at least that would have been warm!
Did meet some pretty cool (they gave me beer! =D ) swiss lasses and some cool aussies in my dorm, all of them were headed for Sziget!!
Next stop SZIGET!!!
24 Aug 2007
20 Aug 2007
The Quest Continues...
Munich aka beer central!
Found a hostel called WOMBATS! Fucking yes! Awesome! (hot receptionist aswell =P)
First things being third... a food hunt was on. Found a place called Goulash Grill...
...did they serve goulash??.. did they bollocks..fucking con. ended up with stuffed raw peppers! Wasn't too bad but I wanted fucking goulash! bastards.
Happy hour in the Wom-Bar (no really the hostel was full of really cheesey puns) became happy session eg 5 hours...
Got talking to a hot Aussie lass, wel actauklly she started talking to me, she had a boyfriend....damn!
Then Me, a Geordie, some canadians and some yanks trundled /staggered off to Hofbrauhausen beer HALL!!
Its the big famous one where Hitler gave some of early speeches.
Beer was only served in 1 litre ....erm...glass bucket like tankards! and for 6 euros a pop (although I scammed some of mine of the others =D) it was pretty cheap... oh yes I was shitfaced....
.....but it didn't stop there, oh no kiddies, there were fountains on the way back to the hostel/late bar next door!
Now being a Brit and pissed up in Germany they was an almost obligatory "running with arms out like a plane singing The Dambusters March" through this fountains, the locals didn't luck happy.....so I did it again!!! =S
At least I wasn't doing a John Cleese impersonation! that would just be rude!
Needless to say getting to bed at 4:30am meant the next day was particularly hungover.
The Morning After...
Got talking to one of the scousers in my dorm.
Scouser: what d'ya do at home then mate?"
Trix: "Aerospace Engineering. You?"
Scouser: "Special forces...SBS."
Trix: "ermmmmmmmmmmm"
Found a hostel called WOMBATS! Fucking yes! Awesome! (hot receptionist aswell =P)
First things being third... a food hunt was on. Found a place called Goulash Grill...
...did they serve goulash??.. did they bollocks..fucking con. ended up with stuffed raw peppers! Wasn't too bad but I wanted fucking goulash! bastards.
Happy hour in the Wom-Bar (no really the hostel was full of really cheesey puns) became happy session eg 5 hours...
Got talking to a hot Aussie lass, wel actauklly she started talking to me, she had a boyfriend....damn!
Then Me, a Geordie, some canadians and some yanks trundled /staggered off to Hofbrauhausen beer HALL!!
Its the big famous one where Hitler gave some of early speeches.
Beer was only served in 1 litre ....erm...glass bucket like tankards! and for 6 euros a pop (although I scammed some of mine of the others =D) it was pretty cheap... oh yes I was shitfaced....
.....but it didn't stop there, oh no kiddies, there were fountains on the way back to the hostel/late bar next door!
Now being a Brit and pissed up in Germany they was an almost obligatory "running with arms out like a plane singing The Dambusters March" through this fountains, the locals didn't luck happy.....so I did it again!!! =S
At least I wasn't doing a John Cleese impersonation! that would just be rude!
Needless to say getting to bed at 4:30am meant the next day was particularly hungover.
The Morning After...
Got talking to one of the scousers in my dorm.
Scouser: what d'ya do at home then mate?"
Trix: "Aerospace Engineering. You?"
Scouser: "Special forces...SBS."
Trix: "ermmmmmmmmmmm"
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Now not having a bed for the night would normally be a bit of an issue. But not for Trix oh no suree.
1st train to Budapest 4am...
bar closes.. 4am... sorted!! well so I thought.
5:30! the next morning I'm woken up by some German coppers wanting to arrest me for vagrancy as I was passed out (with my kit this time) in the metro station (narrowly got out of it by producing a metro ticket) missed the train though...arse!
Next train to Buda of Pest... 9:30. I was still pissed/hang over starting woth 4 hours to wait until I could get some kip!!!! Bollocks (and thats how i felt aswell) probably shouldn't have had those 4 pints in the 2nd bar at 3am!!! oops.
More later folks...needing a beer.
S'laters
Quest for 'Pest
Ok so maybe I'm like 10 days behind with this but gonna get as much up now as possible before my fingers drop off.
The Return Ferry auf Stockholm
In a word - shit..
The Return Ferry auf Stockholm
In a word - shit..
- Different boat with NO WHERE to sit on deck getting hammered... again !
- No where quiet to crash down, fucking casinos everywhere.
- Crashed out on a park bench thing and kept getting woken up by some pissed up Fins checking if I was "alright"... I was until you woke me up for the third time you cock jockey
Basically it was a shit journey....but it was free so that made it OK. kind of. fucking nosy foreign pissed up arseholes.
Copenhagen
Spent a whole hour here!!
Things achieved:
- Found a Netto! =)
- Pissed off some shopkeeper trying to buy film for my camera (I'm not in the digital age yet!)
- Saw an activists march/protest waving triangular red flags... I left....very quickly...Yellow netto bag in tow....didn't wanna get caught up in any kind of thing like tat eg burning embassies and the like...
- Ate a BK
- Ended up with about a fiver in Danish bloody coins (why can't they have a paper currency) which are useless cus I no intention of going back there.
Things not achieved:
- Getting a bacon sarny.
Train to Munich
Had the sense to get a "couchette" (its a fold down bunk) for this train cus it was another long one to Munich via Copenhagen.
A moment of spontanuity made me wander into a completely random compartment full of swedes and try to convince them I was researching where everyone on the train was from....they wern't convinced but the look of curiosity/disgust on their faces made it all worth the while =D
The Austrian bloke in the compartment I was in spent a while telling me how he used to be a truck driver and most of the Austrian guys in the company used to drive hungover after sessioning the ferries!!!! Nutters!
Woke up in Munich.
4 Aug 2007
Land of Fin
Morning sports fans
Well its pretty far east in terms of Europe...... its neighbour's Russia and I had to change to another time zone!! omfg...
Only spent a couple of says here really, just in Turku.
After sleeping enough of my drunken state off to be able to walk again I finally left the ferry terminal some 6/7 hours after getting there. (its was raining aswell) =(
Hostel staff were pretty cool, the guy's spoke fluent english and theguy that did the nightshift was a metal head!! \m/ well it was Finland after all.
Origninal plan was to go to Helsinki then down across to Tallin in Estonia followed by Lativa, lithuania and Poland etc..
Well that was until I mentioned it to one the guys that helps run the hostel... the genral gist of what he said was
"you're going on your own?! are you fucking crazy?!"
the other thing he mentioned was that Tallin is the stereotypical harbour town eg full of crack and whore houses! that and wat happens there usually stays there.....sounds like a real honeypot!
Then there was the warnings of customs between the countries being somewhat corrupt (and not cheap either)
The Union Jack in my pack would go down just lovely if they found that!
Started looking like it might not be such a good idea to do the northern part of the old Eastern Block on my todsome.... then I looked at getting around and travelling about there eg getting through exceedingly quickly (with copious amounts of cheap paint-stripping death juice aka Vodka).
From Ye Goode Olde Lonelyus Planetus the impression of public transport and getting to border crossings was, to summarise quite accurately, complete bollocks.
Back to Stockholm on the booze cruise ferry for me the next day.
Finally parted ways with Liverpool lass cus she was going North & I was in a hurry to get the fuck outta Scandinavia.
Kinda strange not having anyone to hurl abuse at and offended by:
farting
or
picking my nose
or
not showering for more than a day (shower in a can is just so much less effort)
or
belching when eating
or
having a snoring competition with the fat batstard snoring machine a couple of tents away
or
swearing and being generally abusive/a complete arse to unhelpful foreigners
S'all for now folks,
S'laters
Well its pretty far east in terms of Europe...... its neighbour's Russia and I had to change to another time zone!! omfg...
Only spent a couple of says here really, just in Turku.
After sleeping enough of my drunken state off to be able to walk again I finally left the ferry terminal some 6/7 hours after getting there. (its was raining aswell) =(
Hostel staff were pretty cool, the guy's spoke fluent english and theguy that did the nightshift was a metal head!! \m/ well it was Finland after all.
Origninal plan was to go to Helsinki then down across to Tallin in Estonia followed by Lativa, lithuania and Poland etc..
Well that was until I mentioned it to one the guys that helps run the hostel... the genral gist of what he said was
"you're going on your own?! are you fucking crazy?!"
the other thing he mentioned was that Tallin is the stereotypical harbour town eg full of crack and whore houses! that and wat happens there usually stays there.....sounds like a real honeypot!
Then there was the warnings of customs between the countries being somewhat corrupt (and not cheap either)
The Union Jack in my pack would go down just lovely if they found that!
Started looking like it might not be such a good idea to do the northern part of the old Eastern Block on my todsome.... then I looked at getting around and travelling about there eg getting through exceedingly quickly (with copious amounts of cheap paint-stripping death juice aka Vodka).
From Ye Goode Olde Lonelyus Planetus the impression of public transport and getting to border crossings was, to summarise quite accurately, complete bollocks.
Back to Stockholm on the booze cruise ferry for me the next day.
Finally parted ways with Liverpool lass cus she was going North & I was in a hurry to get the fuck outta Scandinavia.
Kinda strange not having anyone to hurl abuse at and offended by:
farting
or
picking my nose
or
not showering for more than a day (shower in a can is just so much less effort)
or
belching when eating
or
having a snoring competition with the fat batstard snoring machine a couple of tents away
or
swearing and being generally abusive/a complete arse to unhelpful foreigners
S'all for now folks,
S'laters
3 Aug 2007
The Finland `hic´ Ferry
Took a few hours to find a pisser.......
Anyhoo back onto subject - the ferry to Finland with the Liverpool lass!
It started off really well for a change. The lass in the ferry ticket office place insisted that we didn't pay anthing for the crossing because we both had rail passes..not even a booking fee!
Bonus - more money for the duty free!
Ferry left Stockholm @ 20:15 and arrived in Turku, Finland abut 12 hours later.
An attempt to get a cancelled cabin on the ferry failed cus the rail passes also get a cabin if there any but as once on the ferry there were plenty of other people to fleece they wouldn't let us have one. robbing corporate bastards.
Not to worry though because we/I was quite content with sitting at the back of the ferry on the deck drinking my duty free purchases... cans of sprite & a pint of Jägermeister .....
Got a bit nippy so put on ye olde sleeping bag with boots sticking out of the other end god bless two way zips! (wasn't until about 2am when it got too cold for just shorts though =S)
Once sitting on deck got a bit tooo cold/I'd polished off all the Jägermeister/ about 5am... apparantly. (I don't really know cus I was shit-faced!) an appropriate location for crashing was needed or rather a bit of floor in a quiet area.
Highlights of the crossing::
Anyhoo back onto subject - the ferry to Finland with the Liverpool lass!
It started off really well for a change. The lass in the ferry ticket office place insisted that we didn't pay anthing for the crossing because we both had rail passes..not even a booking fee!
Bonus - more money for the duty free!
Ferry left Stockholm @ 20:15 and arrived in Turku, Finland abut 12 hours later.
An attempt to get a cancelled cabin on the ferry failed cus the rail passes also get a cabin if there any but as once on the ferry there were plenty of other people to fleece they wouldn't let us have one. robbing corporate bastards.
Not to worry though because we/I was quite content with sitting at the back of the ferry on the deck drinking my duty free purchases... cans of sprite & a pint of Jägermeister .....
Got a bit nippy so put on ye olde sleeping bag with boots sticking out of the other end god bless two way zips! (wasn't until about 2am when it got too cold for just shorts though =S)
Once sitting on deck got a bit tooo cold/I'd polished off all the Jägermeister/ about 5am... apparantly. (I don't really know cus I was shit-faced!) an appropriate location for crashing was needed or rather a bit of floor in a quiet area.
Highlights of the crossing::
- Drinking copious amounts of duty-free alcohol
- Singing various popular & appropriate songs badly and very loudly (charlie was a pigeon, Rule Britannia, Come Sail Away...Hakkuna Matatta....)
- Shouting "Achtung! Schell, schnell! Dive. Dive. Dive" at the lovey dovey young couple next to us until they sodded off.
- Hmming The Dambusters March when they did sod off. =D
- Talking to some Russians, aswell as drinking their wine (and I don't even like wine...but it was free!)
- Listening to said russian sing opera (he was really good) and got given their email addresses if we ever needed a sponsor to get a Russian tourist's visa!
- Been woken up by a couple of ma-hoo-sive Security guards cus I was sleeping in a lift (with sleeping bag & carry mat!)
- Being asked by said security guards where my stuff actaully was and replying "Its either floor 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 or 8!"
- Getting off the ferry after a whle 1 hours kip still thoroughly hammered.
- managing to negotiate stairs, running kids & a surging mob of tourists with pack on without falling over...just swayed a bit....
- Crashed (being the opperative word) down in ferry terminal to sleep it off/was unable to walk any further.
Then there was Finland but my fingers hurt so I'll put that up in a couple of days time.
and its happy hour in a bit =D
Stay tuned sports fans!
S'laters..
Stockholm feat. the Crazy French Anarchist
Right well Stockholm.
Found all hostels full because me and Liverpool lass (whom will instantly ripp your throat out and protest that its actually Formby) had arrived on the eve of the start of the Tall Ships Races so everyone and there 3rd cousin had booked all the hostels. So it was to the camping ground thats actuall a sports stadium for us, we got there and it started to fucking pour like you've never seen, got thorughly soaked. Naturaly it stopped the intant my tent was up and then started again as soon as I'd a shower. Twating arse weather coming over from Britain.
Whilst watching him cook meatballs and chips in the same frying pan' a Crazy Fench guy asked us if we fancied hiring a canoe with him as its meant to be the best way to see stockholm. We agree to do it in a couple of days.
Next day had a nice look around Stockholm, went in the National Museum, the receptionist basically told us to sod off cus there were closing in like 45 minutes! Bitch was ignored.
Turns out some big Swedish director had died that day cus a news crew interviewed me about his "influnence" admitted not having the faintist idea who he was but "arty farty" types in England probably due.
Its a nice place, fairly big but prob not bigger than Sheffield.
The Canoe Chronicles
Found all hostels full because me and Liverpool lass (whom will instantly ripp your throat out and protest that its actually Formby) had arrived on the eve of the start of the Tall Ships Races so everyone and there 3rd cousin had booked all the hostels. So it was to the camping ground thats actuall a sports stadium for us, we got there and it started to fucking pour like you've never seen, got thorughly soaked. Naturaly it stopped the intant my tent was up and then started again as soon as I'd a shower. Twating arse weather coming over from Britain.
Whilst watching him cook meatballs and chips in the same frying pan' a Crazy Fench guy asked us if we fancied hiring a canoe with him as its meant to be the best way to see stockholm. We agree to do it in a couple of days.
Next day had a nice look around Stockholm, went in the National Museum, the receptionist basically told us to sod off cus there were closing in like 45 minutes! Bitch was ignored.
Turns out some big Swedish director had died that day cus a news crew interviewed me about his "influnence" admitted not having the faintist idea who he was but "arty farty" types in England probably due.
Its a nice place, fairly big but prob not bigger than Sheffield.
The Canoe Chronicles
- Hired one canadian canoe for about a tenner each (not bad by scandinavian standards)
- Paddled around immediate area like everyone else
- Headed up river
- Avoided paying at lock by carrying canoe up 2 flights of stairs , across to busy main roads, avoiding a bus in the process, back down another flight of steps, put canoe back in water, paddled off on merry way
- Got picture taken during this by a couple of hundred Japanese tourists...
- Realised there wasa tunnel
- Paddled umpteen kilometers upstream into the wind stopping at various "beaches" on the way to admire the view.
- Hurled abuse at arsehole speedbaoter who tried to capsize us.
- Used Crazy Frenchie's (who's name I cant pronounce) swiss tool to lop down a small tree to make a mast
- Scavenged some shoe lace form the inside of a locked beach hut. Avoided prying OAP during this as methods may not have been entirely legal.
- used one times Trix's coat to make sail.
- paddled further upstream, stop at another island, explore, took Frecnhie's shortcut back to boat eg walk in straight line thorugh bracken brambles etc etc...
- Flipped a coin to decide on heading back or further upstream
- Paddled back down stream.
- Raised mast to discover wind had buggered off... typical
- Paddled like a nymph to a brothel to avoid approaching rainstorm.
- Found shelter/bar just in time
- Had a pint, explained the mast to locals
- Got canoe stuck between fence and vertical girder avoiding lock again. Covered everything in pigeon shit. Gave Frenchie 2 fingers for getting it on my coat. . .and nose.
- Found jeti gate locked.
- Ate liquorice and flumps while waiting for frenchie to return from breaking into restricted lock operating area to collar lock keeper for key.
- Find out lock keeper thought our morning escapaded crossing the rode was quite funny!
- Laughed at Liverpool lass for getting locked on the shore side of the gate cus she went to the toilet!
- Told her to wait 50 feet down side of dock where escape ladder was. (assumed "yes" meant "I understand what a foot is"
- Found said lass 50 Yards further down dock after having to climb ladder and vaulted locked gate.
- Showed Liverpool lass where we actually meant. Explained what a foot was and found gate now open after Frenchie had been twatting it with a paddle.
- Got collared by coastguard, made big gestures towards river where we going and not the main ferry shipping lane. Paddled off before getting reply.
- Got a lot of attention fomr Tall Ships crews as we paddled past. Exchnaged taunts and general hollering. Also entertained on looking Tall Ships tourists (with cameras) with mast lashed to rear of canoe with coat/sail on.
- Returned canoe with mast attached to hire place. Walked off calmly & squelching from being piss wet through!
Ended up cooking dinner on hexastove using bits of Daily Mail, a tea light and some bike inner tube for fuel cus I'd used it all up in Norway and cant get it out here. Bought a pocket Trangia the next day and farted about with double headed battle axe in a shop!
During a session of cards and vodka, Liverpool Lass cohersed me into to going to Finland on a 12 hour ferry the next day. I was aiming to be in Poland 2 days previously.
Still to come: The Finland Ferry! stay tuned cus I need a piss!
Achtung
Well its been a few days since I put anything up so its gonna be a long one, just so ya know & you might see why its been so long.
So I'm now in München (that's Munich to you non-foreign speakers) =P
So how did I end up here well here goes.
From Bodo which is here i was last time I got an express boat to the Lofoten Islands and a place called Svolvaer, upon getting there I'm told the nearest camping place is about 3km out of town...unless I could find somewhere 150m from any fence or road cus then I could wildcamp...but I wanted a shower...´cause I was starting to pong.....now 3km isn't far...at all.
What the wench in the Tourist Info didn't mention was the fact that it was all up arsing hill to get there. A ball sweating hour later I got there (about 23:00) and it was still broad daylight cus of the midnight sun (the sun in the summer in the arctic doesn't qite get to the horizon when it sets so it never goes dark)
Slept in my kegs even though it was the arctic...no need for any blankets or sleeping fully clothed malarky. =D
Next morning/lunchtime headed back down to harbour to get a ferry to Narvik which is where the trains run from to Sweden. The only ferry that day left a good 4 hours previously at the un-earthly hour of 08:30. Well that's just pissing arse twat typical. dossed about in harbour area for a good 5 hours before giving in to the inevitable trek back to campsite back up that bastard hill cus there were some ruff folks starting to knock around in the harbour where I was just going to crash down for the night.
Didn't miss the boat (well bath tub with a fucking big engine cus it went like an alcoholic to the offy about on Giro day!) the next morning though =P
Narvik - international shipping lane with a couple of houses and, more importantly, a train to Sweden/the Ulrika Johnson Undercrackers Museum <<---- doesn't actally exist.
Kiruna, Sweden (finally) - it was still in the arctic!. has the only non-military sapce center in the world, was gonna go have a look but the next morning it was pissing it down so I didnt.
The town has a staggering 2 hostels, both fully booked a bazillion years in advance. The Blonde/hot recpetionist at the second one learnt some new english words: Arse bastarding twat.
Found a campsite though! woooo! so glad I bought a tent. It had a bar (and another hot receptionist - she wasn't blonde either!) ended up explaining what Sourz (including how to say it!) to some pissed up whiskey drinking Swedish southerners.
Next day bumped into English lass from Norway again at the station. She was going to Finland but got the night train to Stockholm with me instead. (Left my shades in the damn waiting room)
17 hours later! and a game of musical chairs that featured me nearly biting some jumped up pre pubescant little twats face of (it was breakfast time aswell) for evicting me out of seat when it wasn't even his seat to start with (OK so I was sprawled acorss 3 seats to start with), then having the blatant cheek to TRY and evict me from his actual reserved seat! I settled for being a sarcastic twat when he bumped his elbow on the table showing off my jumping up to luggage rack every 2 seconds.
"awwww, did that hurt. Oh dear"
"do ya need ya mummy to kiss it better?"
"want an elastoplast?"
Oh he soon stopped being a cunt, looked quite upset actually, tragic!
Right kiddies I need a short rest after that little lot but stay tuned because still to come, Stockholm feat. the crazy french anarchist & The Finland Chapter.
So I'm now in München (that's Munich to you non-foreign speakers) =P
So how did I end up here well here goes.
From Bodo which is here i was last time I got an express boat to the Lofoten Islands and a place called Svolvaer, upon getting there I'm told the nearest camping place is about 3km out of town...unless I could find somewhere 150m from any fence or road cus then I could wildcamp...but I wanted a shower...´cause I was starting to pong.....now 3km isn't far...at all.
What the wench in the Tourist Info didn't mention was the fact that it was all up arsing hill to get there. A ball sweating hour later I got there (about 23:00) and it was still broad daylight cus of the midnight sun (the sun in the summer in the arctic doesn't qite get to the horizon when it sets so it never goes dark)
Slept in my kegs even though it was the arctic...no need for any blankets or sleeping fully clothed malarky. =D
Next morning/lunchtime headed back down to harbour to get a ferry to Narvik which is where the trains run from to Sweden. The only ferry that day left a good 4 hours previously at the un-earthly hour of 08:30. Well that's just pissing arse twat typical. dossed about in harbour area for a good 5 hours before giving in to the inevitable trek back to campsite back up that bastard hill cus there were some ruff folks starting to knock around in the harbour where I was just going to crash down for the night.
Didn't miss the boat (well bath tub with a fucking big engine cus it went like an alcoholic to the offy about on Giro day!) the next morning though =P
Narvik - international shipping lane with a couple of houses and, more importantly, a train to Sweden/the Ulrika Johnson Undercrackers Museum <<---- doesn't actally exist.
Kiruna, Sweden (finally) - it was still in the arctic!. has the only non-military sapce center in the world, was gonna go have a look but the next morning it was pissing it down so I didnt.
The town has a staggering 2 hostels, both fully booked a bazillion years in advance. The Blonde/hot recpetionist at the second one learnt some new english words: Arse bastarding twat.
Found a campsite though! woooo! so glad I bought a tent. It had a bar (and another hot receptionist - she wasn't blonde either!) ended up explaining what Sourz (including how to say it!) to some pissed up whiskey drinking Swedish southerners.
Next day bumped into English lass from Norway again at the station. She was going to Finland but got the night train to Stockholm with me instead. (Left my shades in the damn waiting room)
17 hours later! and a game of musical chairs that featured me nearly biting some jumped up pre pubescant little twats face of (it was breakfast time aswell) for evicting me out of seat when it wasn't even his seat to start with (OK so I was sprawled acorss 3 seats to start with), then having the blatant cheek to TRY and evict me from his actual reserved seat! I settled for being a sarcastic twat when he bumped his elbow on the table showing off my jumping up to luggage rack every 2 seconds.
"awwww, did that hurt. Oh dear"
"do ya need ya mummy to kiss it better?"
"want an elastoplast?"
Oh he soon stopped being a cunt, looked quite upset actually, tragic!
Right kiddies I need a short rest after that little lot but stay tuned because still to come, Stockholm feat. the crazy french anarchist & The Finland Chapter.
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